


The infinite in the finite of every instant

by Liviapenn



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Ascension, Chromatic Character, Community: sticksandsnark, Episode Related, Episode: s03e14 Tao of Rodney, F/M, Misunderstanding, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-24
Updated: 2007-04-24
Packaged: 2017-10-14 14:27:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/150233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liviapenn/pseuds/Liviapenn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The tea ceremony from "Tao of Rodney" goes... differently.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The infinite in the finite of every instant

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FairestCat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairestCat/gifts).



> This story goes AU after a particular scene in "Tao of Rodney"-- you'll be able to tell which one. Written for fairestcat for the Teylaficathon 2007 challenge, to the prompts: Awkward Rodney, AU, and sex.

Better to see the face than to hear the name. - Zen saying

*

When the call came in, Halling was in the midst of a particularly delicate negotiation regarding hunting rights in the forest to the south of the new Athosian settlement. Considering briefly, he rose and bowed to the Wollonese trade ambassador. Making a negotiating partner wait on your convenience was a well-worn tactic, but there was a reason for that; sometimes, it worked.

He took the radio from Kinna and crossed away from the negotiation tent before answering. "This is Halling."

"Halling! Good-- great, yes," came the response. Dr. McKay's voice was recognizable even over the radio, but still somewhat unexpected. "This is Dr. McKay-- Rodney. I was wondering if you had a moment to talk, uh, in private? I had a favor, well, not exactly a favor, but... Do you have a minute?"

"Of course, Doctor." Halling said. Dr. McKay had never seemed to give much thought to the Athosians, collectively or singly, and Halling had been no exception to the rule. But Teyla had always spoken well of him, and she was a good judge of character. "How can I assist you?"

"Well." The radio hissed silence for a stretch of time, and Halling waited. "It's-- ah, well, it's a bit personal," Dr. McKay said, then said nothing for another while. Halling thought of reminding him that the Gate would only stay open for so long, but held his tongue. Dr. McKay had never seemed like the sort of man who needed to be prompted in order to speak his mind. "Well, it's about-- it concerns Teyla, actually," Dr. McKay finally said, and Halling's eyes went wide.

For a moment, he stared dumbly at the radio. After Teyla had returned to Atlantis, many of the Athosians, including Halling, had assumed that they knew the reason why. In truth, he'd been half-expecting a call such as this for some time. He just hadn't been expecting it to come from Dr. McKay.

"How does it concern Teyla?" he prompted.

"I just... There are some things I have to say. Well, some things I *need* to say. But I'm not sure I know how to say them, if you know what I mean. That is, I know how to *say* them, but I want to... I want to show that I respect her, you know?" Dr. McKay's voice grew soft and oddly wistful, and Halling did not even try to stop the incredulous smile that crossed his face. "I wanted to know if there's an Athosian way that I could tell her... Well, tell her that I-- you know. That I really respect her and--"

"Yes, I understand," Halling finished for him, because really, wormholes only *did* stay open for so long. "You wish to know how such things are done among Athosians."

"Yes! Yes, that's exactly what I mean." Dr. McKay sounded intensely relieved that Halling had guessed his meaning.

Halling nodded once, then cast his eye to the horizon, where the sun was already high in the sky. It was nearly midsummer here on the new planet that the Ancients had selected for them. Though the years were never quite the same from planet to planet, the Athosians had still managed to stay at least somewhat tied to the traditional calendar of the year. Tagan had died only days before the summer solstice; Halling remembered it well. "There is a ceremony of remembrance." he said. "One offers to share the memory of a lost loved one, on the anniversary of a death. You could offer to share this ceremony with Teyla; I am sure it would mean very much to her, and she would understand what you mean to say by it."

"I... well, all right, I could do that," Dr. McKay said. "What kind of ceremony?" He sounded unsure, but determined, and Halling's smile turned half-melancholy as he described the how the tea ceremony was performed. Though it had been many years now, and Jalen was gone, he could still remember the day he had offered to perform the tea ceremony for her. So many years, and he could still see her eyes, so wide and dark like Jinto's. He could still feel the tightness in his throat as he had stood before her, offering to always walk beside her. To share the memory of her ancestors, as though they were his own family. To carry half her grief, and share half his joy...

It was one of their most beautiful ceremonies, at least in Halling's opinion. Part of him could not believe that Teyla was even old enough now to be joining with another, to be sharing her life with him. And part of him still wished that she had chosen an Athosian to partner with, instead of a stranger. But she had been a grown woman for years now, and Dr. McKay was a good man... Things would turn out all right.

*

When Rodney appeared at her door, Teyla did try to ask whether he should not be elsewhere; meditating with John, or perhaps in the infirmary with Carson. But he stepped past her, interrupting with a quick "Hope you don't mind!" Truly, as Colonel Sheppard had said, he was the "same old Rodney," despite having gained the powers of the Ancestors. It was almost reassuring. If Rodney was still so very *Rodney*, surely his condition could not be too serious. Surely he could not really be-- well, dying. Teyla wished she could cloak herself in this denial, but she was no longer a child. She could not make herself believe that everything would be all right, just because she wished it to be.

"I was just talking to Halling," Rodney began. He was carrying a tea-tray for some reason, with one of the tiny ceramic teapots that were the style among the Atlanteans. "He happened to mention that it was the anniversary of the death of your father next week."

"He did?" Teyla peered curiously at him. She had not realized that Rodney and Halling ever "just talked."

"Okay, I might have asked a few, uh, pointed questions, but, um, that's beside the point. I just thought it would be nice if, uh... What I mean is," Rodney stammered, and Teyla realized what he was getting at mere seconds before he said it. "I would be honored if you let me share the memorial tea ceremony with you. For-- for your father."

Teyla could not stop a startled smile from finding its way to her lips. She knew, of course, that Rodney found her attractive. His glances had lingered often enough to make her aware of that. But she had never suspected that he actually harbored deeper feelings. Suddenly she saw him with new eyes, realizing that he was the perfect image of the nervous supplicant in an Athosian romantic ballad: chin high, eyes worried, fingers working nervously at the edges of the tea-tray.

"I don't know if it's wrong to do it early or anything," Rodney said, "but, uh, I may not be around next week. Anyway--" He bowed his head for a moment, lifting one hand to gesture pointedly, as if trying to get the words precisely right in his head. "I understand it's not something you're supposed to do alone."

Teyla blinked, not sure what Rodney meant. How could one perform the courtship ceremony without a suitor, or someone to court? What had Halling told Rodney, exactly--? And then she realized. There had been some sort of misunderstanding. Rodney was not *proposing*, not offering to become part of her family, to mourn her losses as if they truly were his own. He was merely trying to be a friend. But as soon as she thought of it in that way, Teyla wished she could take it back. There was nothing *mere* about friendship, nor Rodney's fumbling but sincere attempt to comfort her. Nothing at all.

"Thank you, Rodney," she said, smiling, and she honestly meant it, even as she reached out to take the tea-tray from his hands.

"No no no no," Rodney drew back, holding her off with another gesture. "I know exactly what to do," he said crisply. Again, it was just so very like Rodney that she could find no words to respond. "You are the one that's lost a loved one. I will serve you."

Touched beyond measure, Teyla followed Rodney as he crossed to her bed, carefully sitting down at the far end and settling the tea-tray down between them.

"Can we sit here, is that all right?" he asked, and Teyla nodded, settling down across from him. She watched as Rodney took a slow breath, then let it out, obviously preparing himself.

He poured her tea in silence, and handed it to her, his hands steady and careful. From the scent, she could tell that it was the sweet minty tea that Elizabeth, among others, preferred. Teyla held the cup in her hands, letting it warm her palms.

"Halling said that this ceremony was about honoring and respecting someone," Rodney said quietly. His eyes flicked to her, wide and vulnerable, and then he smiled crookedly. "And I realize that, barring a freak accident with an Ancient device that gives *you* the ability to read minds, there's probably no way you could have known this, but I admire you. I admire you immensely."

It was harder to stay silent than Teyla would have expected. She looked down at her cup of tea, willing her hands not to shake. Rodney's words were surprisingly moving, even knowing that he did not-- that he was not thinking of this ceremony in the same way that Teyla thought of it.

"Despite that... or, more honestly, perhaps because of that, I've kept you at arms' length," Rodney said. "And I shouldn't have. All this time you've been here for-- well, for all of us. And I think I could have been a better friend, if-- Well, I could have tried. And I'm sorry I never did."

"Rodney," Teyla said, then pressed her lips together, struggling to control her voice. Rodney glanced up at her in surprise, and she smiled apologetically. "Go on."

"Oh, well, I--" Rodney stammered, then lifted his cup and drank quickly, wincing a little at the heat of the tea. "That's all, really. You-- you can talk now. Ah, I guess this is the part where you could tell me about him. Your father. If you'd like."

Teyla looked down at her own cup, still smiling, and drank. She set her cup down carefully, then reached across the tray and took Rodney's cup from him. "Is this the part where--" Rodney began, and Teyla put her hands on his shoulders, and drew his forehead down to hers. "Okay."

"Okay," Teyla whispered, and despite her best efforts, a tear slipped down her cheek.

"I'm sorry," Rodney said, trying to pull back, but Teyla kept her hands on his shoulders and wouldn't let him retreat.

"No, don't--"

"Sorry," Rodney said again, and lifted his own hand to brush the tear away from her cheek. Biting her lip, Teyla finally raised her head and looked Rodney in the eye, unable to keep more tears from falling as she did so. "Oh, Teyla, I--" Rodney said, and then his eyes grew wide. "I *what*? Oh my God, I just *proposed* to you?"

Teyla had never before burst into laughter and tears at once; it hurt, like something tearing in her chest. "I know you didn't intend--" she tried to choke out through her laughter. "I know it wasn't your intention."

"Teyla--" Rodney said, and pulled her close, this time in an Earth-style hug, the almost terrifyingly intimate press of body against body. And yet, in this moment, all Teyla wanted was to get closer. She reached out for him, but the tea-tray was still in the way, and she caught it by the edge and shoved it roughly off the bed, sending crockery flying and tea splattering across her rug as a few of the more delicate cups shattered. Rodney's head jerked as he glanced at the destruction, and Teyla pulled him back again, sliding down the bed and pulling him down on top of her.

He caught himself, planting one hand above her shoulder, staring down into her eyes again, his expression worried and unsure. If he was reading her mind, surely he would know what she wanted-- what she needed, in this moment-- but just in case he didn't, she spoke the words aloud. "Be with me, Rodney. Be with me, right now."

Rodney closed his eyes for a long moment, breathing in and out, once, and then he looked down at her again, and grinned. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be," he said, and he bent his head, and he kissed her.

They kissed for what seemed like an eternity, slow and soft kisses, and if a few more tears slipped from Teyla's eyes along the way, Rodney's thumbs stroked them away as he caressed her face. They were tender with each other for some time after that, moving as slowly and carefully as if they had an eternity, as if time would never run out. Rodney cupped Teyla's breasts in his hands, thumbing her nipples gently as he dropped kisses on them, and Teyla stroked her fingers easily through his hair, laughing low in her throat as she found out that gently scratching the back of his neck made him shiver uncontrollably. Soon, though, the mood shifted and they grew impatient, tugging at each other's clothes, unable to wait any longer to be joined. Teyla kicked her shoes off violently, not caring where they landed, then tossed her pants aside and took out more of her frustration on Rodney's stubborn shoelaces and the recalcitrant buttons that fastened his BDUs. For his own part, Rodney didn't bother kicking off his shoes, just shoved his unfastened pants below his knees, pushed Teyla's pillows away with a clatter as he knocked over everything on her bedside table, and pulled Teyla on top of him, panting.

"I don't believe this is actually happening, I really don't," he said, his hands stroking smoothly up her thighs, fingers smoothing across the plain cotton underwear that curved over her hips. "You're so beautiful, you're so-- oh, crap, we don't have anything." Teyla looked at him curiously and Rodney clarified. "I mean, protection-- Well, actually..." He put his hand over her abdomen and Teyla felt a warm tingle.

Her eyes widened. "*What* did you just do?"

"Well, nothing. I mean, nothing much. Just, now you don't have to worry about me getting you pregnant and then dying on you. Which would suck," Rodney said. "Don't worry, it'll only last for a couple of hours!"

"Rodney, there are condoms in the night-table!" Teyla said, suddenly balanced again on the knife's edge between tears and laughter.

"Oh," Rodney said, looking suddenly unsure. "Oh. Um, in that case--"

She knocked his hand away from her belly again. "No, stop doing that." A thought occurred to her, and she suddenly grinned at Rodney wickedly. "Do you mean to imply that this will last for several *hours*?"

Rodney stared at her, then blushed. "Well-- just to be safe!"

"Mmm-hmm." Teyla could not remember the last time she had actually cried like this, and she fought to wipe the tears from her eyes once more. Still, she couldn't keep from smiling, either.

"Besides, you don't know! I have superpowers!" Rodney protested. Teyla just laughed helplessly, and Rodney grinned and grabbed her, wrestling her down to lie at his side. He was hampered a bit by his pants and shoes, and made a quick, slightly overdramatic gesture that sent them flying off his feet to bang against Teyla's tea-shelf and knock over her bantos rods, sending them clattering to the floor. "Oops."

"Yes, your powers do seem to be extremely super," Teyla observed, and Rodney rolled over on top of her, kissing her cheek and her ear, tickling her and making her laugh.

"You're really funny, you know that?" he whispered in her ear, and then came back to kiss her mouth and gaze into her eyes, amazed. "I never told you that, but you are. You should laugh more."

Teyla nodded, and Rodney slid his hand down between her legs, stroking her through her panties. Even though Rodney still wore his boxers, she could feel his cock pressing against her thigh, warm and ready.

"Now," she told Rodney, winding her arms around his neck.

"Yeah?" Rodney said. "Okay. Okay..." He tugged off his boxers as Teyla shoved her panties off. They both tossed their underwear to a different side of the bed, then turned to look at each other again, and somehow in the moment even that was hilarious. Grinning, Rodney half-collapsed on top of Teyla, and they laughed until Teyla pounded her fists against Rodney's chest. "God," Rodney finally said, "oh, *god*, stop wiggling--"

"I will not," Teyla said, and reached down to grasp Rodney's cock and guide it inside, only hampered a bit by a few persistent giggles.

"Yeah-- or not," Rodney said in a strained voice, "that's good too."

"Oh," Teyla said and tossed her head back on the bed, catching her tongue between her teeth and luxuriating in the pure singing pleasure. She tightened around him reflexively, loving the aching ripples that started in her cunt and echoed through her whole body. Such a simple thing, to take Rodney so sweetly inside her, to welcome and to hold him, to keep him safe... "Oh, Rodney, yes," she said, and hooked her ankles together in the small of his back, shifting so that she could rock her hips rhythmically, flexing around his hardness.

"Yes, oh God, just like that, you're amazing..."

"Now, Rodney," she said, bringing her hands up to his shoulders. "Now."

"Wait, wait just a minute," Rodney said, his voice strained, "hang on just a second, stop-- stop doing that," and Teyla stilled her hips, smiling.

"I am in no hurry," she murmured, letting her eyes drift closed as she tried to relax instead of hurrying things along.

"Oh God! I'm going to... I'm going to..." he gasped, and Teyla smirked, reaching up to pinch his earlobe sharply; that had always worked for her first lover, Kellin. "No, no, I'm not going to *come*--" Rodney said, but he didn't sound irritable, he sounded-- awed. Transported. "I think I'm--"

Teyla's eyes snapped open as a sudden glow filled the room. Rodney's body seemed to be slowly filling with light from the outside, light that sent out strange wisps and curls into the air. She couldn't really feel anything except a prickle, as if a thunderstorm were coming, and then slowly Rodney's touch on her body began to fade.

"I think I'm ascending--" Rodney whispered, and then Teyla's arms and legs slipped, falling through nothing, and then he was gone.

Naked, wet and aching, Teyla lay back on the bed, in the middle of her ruined room, and gaped.

For about two seconds.

Then she stood up, grabbed a bantos rod for emphasis, and shook it at nothing. "*Meredith Rodney McKay!*"

"Um," Rodney said, and Teyla spun around, staring. She had not sensed him behind her at all; had not heard a single sound, not even a breath, to herald his reappearance.

"I am *not,*" Teyla began in a low and threatening tone, "accustomed to a man taking his pleasure with me and then *vanishing* before *I* have even--"

"I know, I know! It was rude, I apologize!" Rodney was still glowing faintly, and somehow clothed again, in a pair of khaki slacks and a white shirt with a stiff collar and buttons down the front, that hung loose instead of being tucked into his pants. "But I think if you look at the big picture here, which is that I'm ascended and not dead, we can definitely put this one in the 'win' column. I mean, honestly, I'd take it as a compliment. You're not just beautiful, you're... you're literally heavenly! Sex with you isn't just great, it's transcendental--! Practically a sacrament!"

Teyla stared at Rodney. Of course she was glad that he wasn't dead; in fact, the relief was so great it was making her legs tremble, and for the thirteenth or fourteenth time in the last hour alone, she was unable to figure out whether she was about to burst into sobs or laugh hysterically. It helped that even an Ascended Rodney couldn't keep his eyes firmly on her face when he was talking to her. His gaze kept drifting ever downwards... then snapping back up again, guiltily, as if Rodney were some sort of trespasser instead of the very man she'd invited to take her clothes off in the first place.

Frustrated, Teyla ran her free hand back through her hair, trying to push it out of her face. "Of course I am glad that you are not dead, Rodney. And Ascension... it must be wonderful." With her other hand, Teyla swung the bantos rod at Rodney's luminous form, and it passed easily through his chest; the sight sent a slight chill down her spine, even though she had expected it. "However, I must admit that I... for somewhat selfish reasons... wish you were still *corporeal*."

"Oh," Rodney said, "Oh... right, yeah."

Teyla waved a hand, suddenly feeling very tired. She had never expected to find passion, let alone tenderness or love, with Rodney McKay, and so why should she feel now as if she had lost something important? You could not lose something you had never actually had. "No," she said, "I do not expect you to give up an immortal existence on a plane of ultimate knowledge for me. This must be everything you have ever wanted, and-- and I--"

"Oh, well..." Rodney said, hands hanging awkwardly in the air. "I mean... I don't *have* to go. I mean, I've Ascended-- yay me!-- but I could certainly *de*scend..."

"Do not be ridiculous," Teyla said. She forced herself, with an effort greater than nearly any she had ever summoned, to smile. "I am happy for you, Rodney. Truly. You should go. Go... be Ascended."

"Hm," Rodney said. He flickered, and then shook his head, crossing his arms. "No, you know what? The hell with it."

"What?"

"I'm serious. Who needs it? I mean... infinite knowledge..." Rodney looked strangely far away for a moment, then focused back on Teyla. Then focused back again, this time on Teyla's *face*. "I mean, sure, it sounds great, doesn't it? But now that I'm actually infinite and everything... It actually seems to have been overrated. That's the problem with hype, isn't it? Nothing's ever as good as people make it sound..."

Teyla bit her lip. She *absolutely* was not going to cry. "Rodney-- you really--?"

"Hey, do I look stupid?" Rodney said. "I mean, not to be too big-headed about it or anything, but even *before* I gained infinite wisdom and all the knowledge of the universe I was really pretty smart. Oooh, while I'm Ascended, I should go see Radek and taunt him about--"

Teyla gave him a look, tapping the bantos rod against the end of her bed, pointedly.

"Or I could just... yeah. I'll be right back. Right down. Whatever. Hang on. Don't... don't go anywhere." He blinked at her a few times more. "I don't know how long this will take. Don't get dressed."

He closed his eyes, concentrating, and his outline began to glow even more brightly than it had before. The light grew so intense that Teyla had to turn away, pressing her hands to her eyes, and when she turned back, Rodney was standing in her room, naked again-- clearly *human* again-- looking around with a look of such pure wonder that it took her breath away. He stared at her as if he'd never seen her before either, a slow and appreciative grin spreading over his face. With a laugh, Teyla threw herself forward, tossing her arms around him, and Rodney gathered her in, squeezing her tightly.

"Hello," Teyla said, and Rodney whispered back, "Hello."

She led him to the bed, and pulled him down again, into her arms.

*

Afterwards, Rodney rolled over, sighed, and said, "Wow. That was... great."

"Yes," Teyla said, stretching lazily. "It was."

Rodney hummed happily to himself for a moment, then turned to look at Teyla. "Who are you again?"

Teyla laughed. Then she stopped laughing. "Excuse me?"

"I, um. I assume that I'm 'Rodney,' from what you were saying while we were-- uh-- at least, I certainly hope I'm Rodney. But I seem to be a little unclear on... Well, just about everything else, and I thought maybe you could... fill me in?" Rodney blinked expectantly.

Without taking her eyes off him, Teyla reached for her earbud and hit the emergency channel. "Doctor Beckett? Has amnesia ever been known to affect a... descended Ascended human?"

"Actually, in certain cases, it has, yes," Carson said, sounding quite baffled. "Why do you ask?"

"For no reason," Teyla said, and dropped the earbud on the floor. She looked back at Rodney.

"It's, it's nice to *meet* you," Rodney said awkwardly. "Very, very nice, in fact."

"Yes," said Teyla, reaching down to take Rodney's hand in her own. "It's very nice to meet you, too, Rodney," she said. And she smiled.

[end]


End file.
